Welcome to my world of childish stories from a childish mind.

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All comments are welcome, but please be polite. I hate it when the truth is told. lol
I hope you enjoy what I have written.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

God Help Me.... I'm Serious

Note: The pic I chose in my mind, is a depiction of how I envisioned this kid after the show. lol.

Believe it or not, this is true story. Years ago, I was in show business as an entertainer. I performed various acts that included everything from singing, & I'm not that bad they say to clowning for little kids.

 One show I did, involved a private birthday party in a little boys home. The party went well except for one boy who was about 12 years old. He was a guest. On the average, shows usually go well, but there are times when you run into a snag, as I call it. There is always someone who is a total bug. Someone who constantly interrupts or causes havoc & disrupts everything. This was one of those times.

I was half way through the show when he struck. It was like an all out assault attack on the poor, helpless clown & I had no idea what was ahead. Had I known, I would have applied for asylum. Have you ever been in a situation where life is suddenly against you, dinner is ready & you are the main course? If you can answer " Yes" to this honestly, then welcome to the club.

As I said, everything went well up to this point. I did magic for them, animal balloons, funny character voices & so on & so forth. I can laugh now, but then, it was hell on earth. Do you know how hard it is to perform  when your the centre of a miniature terrorist attack?

 It was awful. No, I take that back. It was like being attacked by Stripe from the Gremlins movie. Satan incarnate. He bugged me. He tortured me. Kept interrupting  & made my one hour that  I was there a living hell. You don't think it was that bad? Well, when I got done, no, I take that back, when he got done with me, I was ready for a psycologist, a psychiatrists, a spiritual healer & a witch doctor all roll into one, not to mention a good stiff drink. Where's the Valium? No, it wasn't for him. It was for me. I was a nervous wreck. The only thing I could think of was to make a balloon poodle & pop it over his head . I didn't, but the thought was there, trust me. 

If anyone ever tells you there are no such things as demons, tell them their a liar & send them my way. That day I met one face to face. I love kids, can't you tell ? I didn't know whether to meditate, hope to God for a bottle of scotch from my magic bag or perform an exorcism.

Usually, when a person acts that way, they say they are looking for attention. Don't believe it. In  reality, they simply want to make your life a living hell & he did. I even invited him up front, hoping if he became part of the show he would calm down. It didn't work. So much for psycology.

When you're in a situation like that, time can't go fast enough & trust me it didn't. The show finally ended, thank God. I was emotionally drained , physically exhausted, spiritually depleted, & I'm sure not quite in my right mind. The lady of the house graciously thanked me . "What the hell for? " The kid needed a straight jacket & an armed guard. Oh sorry, that was for me. 

 I packed up my gear & headed for the door . I had already been paid  & was about to walk out  when suddenly I heard a sound that I had quickly come to dread, not to mention fear, " Mr. Clown." "Oh no!!!!! " PLEASE GOD NOOOOO." It was him. The one & only. The menace that I dreaded the most. I would sooner have kissed a dogs butt than to face him again. I couldn't take it. I was about to loose whatever sanity I thought I had left, but there he was, in the flesh. Alone with me by the door..  my only escape & I was trapped like a mouse cowering in front of a cat. 

His look of innocence wasn't fooling me. Not this time. Then he looked up at me & said," Mr. Clown, when you die you're going to go to Heaven with me. 
The only thought that ran through my mind was, " My God..  What did I ever do to you." 

PS: As far as I remember, I never did meet that child again. Do I miss him? WHAT! Are you nuts? I'd sooner have a case of  hemorrhoids

End of story. 

Dalton Lasher 
Copyright 2010 Makwawebsites 

You can contact me at : makwawebsites@yahoo.ca


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